Sunday, July 1, 2012

"Endangered" cast: Villain . . . . .

*Whispers* Hello, all. Why am I whispering? Because today I am interviewing my villain. I have to be very careful around him. You should be too. He's VERY dangerous. Here's a list of what NOT to do around him . . .
  1. Do not make any sudden movements
  2. Do not try to touch him, especially his shoulder or head. (Bad memories.)
  3. Do not make any loud noises.
  4. Oh, good grief. Just don't make ANY noises.
  5. Do not blink. (If you value your life, DO NOT BLINK.)
  6. Do not make any eye contact with him. 
  7. Well, just to be safe, don't look at him at all. He senses your gaze.

If you follow these few rules, you have a good chance of making it out of here alive. K? You got it? Great, let's proceed. DON'T MOVE!!! Look, just . . . . stay there. He might go even more nuts if he sees someone walking towards him. Now, slowly sit. That's good. Great. We're all set. Oh, and if he asks you something, just call him Villy. Short for villain, because I can't let his real name out or it'd spoil the story, right? Great. But chances are that he won't, as long as you don't draw any attention towards yourself. PUT THE GUM DOWN!!! NO CANDY NEAR VILLY!!! The wrapper sound makes him anxious, and when he's anxious he might attack. Thank you. *clears throat* Villy, are you ready?

My villain. He doesn't look too bad, but he's crazy. Yes, in an insane way.
Villain: Where is my mother?

Me: She's safe, I promise. Now, how are you today?

Villain: I want my mummy.

Me: *in so-so British accent* Now, now, Villy, your mummy is fine. She's--er--busy. *gives up with the accent* Now, if you answer the questions, she'll come back. How are you today?

Villain: Good.

Me: Great. Um . . . . this is harder than I expected. How does one interview someone who's crazy?

Villain: I do not know.

Me: No, that wasn't a question for you. I was just wondering out loud. Let's see . . . . Okay, what motivates you to protect your mother?

Villain: I won't let Father hurt her again.

Me: Again?

Villain: Yes.

Me: Have you ever hurt anyone?

Villain: Yes.

Me: Can you tell me who?

Villain: No.

Me: I'd appreciate if your answers were longer than one word.

Villain: No, I cannot tell you who it was.

Me: Let's say someone tried to take your mother, what would you do to them?

Villain: *jumps up and glances at audience* ARE THEY TRYING TO TAKE MY MOTHER??!?!?!!??! I'LL KILL THEM!!!!

Me: No!!! Just breath. I was just saying, you know, if someone tried to do that. What would you do?

Villain: I'd bash their heads in and feed them to dogs, alive.

Me: I didn't need to sleep tonight anyway. Even if I had, the mental image was enough to give me nightmares for months. Um, could you tell everyone about yourself?

Villain: I am . . . . unsure of how to answer that. 

Me: Villy, PLEASE. Just . . . . say something.

Villain: I have nothing to say. I want my mummy.

Me: Fine, you may go. Sorry everyone, but my villain refuses to respond and answer my questions. *sigh*

God bless!
Galatians 6:9 KJV


  1. Good job Kataleeen! Very well handled. :P

    1. :P Thank you, Jahsmun. *bows* I did my very best with him.

  2. I tagged you in a blog post! Come see :D

    1. Thanks Sarah! I'll try to get it up tomorrow!

  3. Poor guy he has a lot of issues he needs to deal with!

    1. Yeah, sadly. Sad as it is, I think he's one of my favorite characters. Even though he IS my villain.

    2. FREAKY! Haha. At least he's not a erm villain who enjoys hurting people. At least he has an excuse :P

    3. *looks at her* You are completely right. I never thought of it that way. Wow. I'm really good at creating villains. ^_^ jkjkjk