Sunday, June 24, 2012

Excerpt from "Endangered"

So, I've posted interviews with of a few of my characters. There will be more tomorrow.
But I thought, "I might as well give them a little tidbit to interest them. Be mindful, I haven't edited this yet and it's only my 1.5 draft.

This is from chapter 6, scene 2.

"Marc restrained a wince as the four of them sat in the carriage. The tension was so thick, Marc was sure he could slice it with wire. Marc watched the two women sitting across from him and David as they stared at each other, opponent to opponent.
     Marc coughed, hoping to ease the attention of the two enemies away from each other. No success. They did not even bat an eye. He slowly looked at David, wondering if he felt the tension exuding between the two ladies as well. David sat rigid next to him, his eyes darting back and forth between the females.
     Marc coughed again, this time louder. Guinevere slid her gorgeous, half-closed, emerald green eyes towards him, her blonde eyebrows raised. She crossed her arms. “Are you not feeling well?”
     “I feel fine. Perfectly fine.” At this, Guinevere returned her gaze to Breanne, who stared back defiantly.
     Marc sighed. Maybe he should forget about saving funds and give them separate rooms, unless he wanted to handle a lifeless body in the morning.
     “Ahem.” Marc cleared his throat, wondering if this was yet another futile attempt to be rid of the tension. “Breanne, I heard you might be looking for work at the factory?”
     Guinevere’s eyes widened and her face became a fascinating shade of red. Marc gulped. What have I done?
     Breanne looked at him, clearly surprised. “How did you know that? I only told Dav-Eh, Mr. Mendes-that.”
     Guinevere sneered. “David is it? I should have known. You Irish are all the same.” She smirked.
     Marc could have kicked himself. Great, you have now succeeded in giving them both one more reason to kill each other. Nice work, Marc. Marc looked at David, whose face was now as pink as the sunrise.
     But Guinevere wasn’t finished yet. Oh no. She wasn’t anywhere near finished. “Why is it that I’m the only one unaware of the fact that you are looking for more work? You are my employee. I should be told. But you just keep proving everyday how ungrateful and selfish you are!”
     Marc tried to change the subject, but Breanne interrupted. “I’m ungrateful and selfish? Oh, no. I believe you have us mixed up. You are the one who acts all high and mighty when you are nothing better than a low-down beggar!”
     Marc rubbed his temples, feeling the headache coming on. He had to stop them before they got out of control. Before-
     Before Marc could utter a sound, Guinevere sprang on top of Breanne, her nails digging into Breanne’s sleeve.
     “You are a good-for-nothing ungrateful tart!” Guinevere’s screech could be heard for miles, Marc was sure of it. He tried to pull Guinevere from Breanne, but Breanne had other notions.
     Breanne’s fingernails landed on Guinevere’s face cut through her fine skin. Guinevere cried out, and then began beating Breanne with her clenched fists. Smack! The sound of a palm coming in contact with skin resounded throughout the carriage.
     Breanne drew her hand back and went for Guinevere’s cheek again. Instead of slapping it, like Marc thought, she scrunched her hand into a fist and hit Guinevere in the eye. Guinevere then yanked Breanne’s hair, jerking her head back and forth.
     Marc grabbed Guinevere before she and Breanne could do anymore harm to each other, and gestured for David to do the same. David took Breanne by the arm, and whispered something in her ear. Instantly, Breanne settled down, only glaring at Guinevere.
     Marc looked down at Guinevere, about to give her a piece of his mind about trying to hurt her “best friend” and then he noticed the blood on her cheek and the bruise beginning to form around her right eye.
     “Are you okay?” He asked, knowing that sounded foolish, even to his own ears. He retrieved a handkerchief from his trousers’ pocket, and offered it to her.
     She snatched the handkerchief from his hand and wiped at the cuts. “What do you think?” She hissed between clenched teeth. She glanced down at the balled up handkerchief and paled at the sight of blood.
     Marc sagged against the cushioned seat. He hoped they would be at the boardinghouse soon. He did not know how much more of this he could take. "

Hope you enjoyed it! This is one of my favorite scenes. :)

God Bless!
Galatians 6:9 KJV


  1. Hahah. It's bad that I should laugh. But boy, they hate each other! It's very good, I'll say again. Fantastic. :)

    1. Thanks Bethany. :D I've let a few of my family members read it, and they laughed too. ;)

  2. Woah, definitely enemies. I wouldn't want Breanne in my bedroom!! Great excerpt. ;)

    1. Thanks. I agree. I was thinking the same thing while writing the scene.